How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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