Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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