You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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