Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just had sex on a roof
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
