I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize