thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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