arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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