I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
false alarm, still single
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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