I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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