You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
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I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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