Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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