Three words: puerto rican gang bang
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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