Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
