and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
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im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
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I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
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