Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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