I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
