i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
This show inspires me to have sex in space
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
