Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
