If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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