Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
