I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize