Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
