Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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