We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
