Please, let me fuck your mom
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
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It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
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I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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