She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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