It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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