The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
