why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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