Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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