it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
