SEEEEXXX PLEASE
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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