either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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