Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
