Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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