it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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