cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
