Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
