dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
