But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
