you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
