I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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