I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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