sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
