I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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