In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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