YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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