I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just want to make out with him forever
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
