so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
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