i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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