that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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