Plan B is the new Plan A
I have demons in me.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
