Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
