Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
