Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
