How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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