We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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