you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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