when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
