I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Randomize
