who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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