Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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