fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
