After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize