it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I just googled if crying burns calories
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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