Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
