Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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