I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
