I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Your penis caused this!
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
