so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
my nose is crying tears of wow.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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