After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
