She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
