I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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