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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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