I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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