Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
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I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
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We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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